Aftera mucho relaxing, much needed break away this past weekend, this momma feels like a new woman.
Time away, and with my Joshy.
(Although I will say my rear side and sit bones (for those who do pilates, yoga) are so sore I am thankful for the grab bar next to my toilet. More on this later.)
Rewind to Friday: this day came with a surprise phone call from mia Joshy: ‘Stormy, this day - well, I want you to think about where you - mommie - wants to eat dinner.” I was stunned into silence. There have been no Friday nites available since March (!!) to go on a real weekend date…and usually, I would have to rise and shine at the break of dawn on Saturday and Sunday mornings to hustle to an art show or festival.
“And even if it we need to plan - and, er- um…make reservations, I will call and make them," he continued. "You just have to tell me, ok?”
Now ladies in this reading crowd, let me tell you something about my man: loyal to a fault, the hardest worker man I know, and sweet as a peach. But no planner is he. In fact, I carefully explain to him our P-words over a Thursday evening to prepare him for what the weekend will bring. He really despises planning anything. But plan he did, and to top off this little evening enjoyment, he says to me over pre-dinner cocktails and those things they bring before dinner…oh yes, appetizers. Something you don‘t purchase with kids in tow (:
“Stormy, I want you to email your people (like I have people, but isn’t it sweet he thinks I do? Hee hee) and tell them you won’t be at the farmers market tomorrow. Plans (hear that?! plans!) have changed, and we are definitely going to take the horses and go trail ride and camp.”
Ummmmmm…..what? I thought silently to myself. Horses? Trails? Riding? Hmmmm…as I spewed out here excitedly last week, I was thinking more shopping, little boutiques, shopping, shopping…ok, you get my drift. Not one to disappoint, and certainly raised to appreciate down time with loved ones, I rose Saturday a.m. and dutifully began preparations for a nite (one, mind you. One nite.) away at primitive horse camp with Joshy and friends. And during the drive to said camp, I explained to Joshy in every single way I could that I am slightly afraid of horses, and they do intimidate me, and can’t they tell if you are scared of them?
“Your horse will love you,” the ever-encouraging man in my life said. “Just hang on, he knows exactly what to do. Old trail rider, baby. Old trail rider.”
Repeatedly he said this. Repeatedly.
And so, the big beast of horse who was mine did in fact know that I was a wee bit scared (to death) and he did indeed know the trail way of life. So much so that he actually galloped down the steep, rocky ravines that we miraculously found on (every blessed) trail ride we went on, and galloped right on up the dusty, sans water creek beds we crossed. Before I left on Saturday, I shared coffee with an old friend, who advised: “You will be so so so sore the next day. Put a pillow on your rear or something. I rode for 45 minutes last week and it almost killed me for a week.” Well, I ignored that advise, most likely for fear of sticking out as more of a sore thumb than I already did (ok, I don’t own cowboy boots. The biggest animal I had growing up was a Doberman. All of my jeans are from my office working days, and their price tags still sit securely on my credit card, despite my diligent monthly payments for the past two years (: I do own a super cute cowgirl hat though. Of course I didn’t pack it…too over the top I thought at the time.
But the good friends - old and new to me - we packed with were so great and warm and inviting and nice to show me the ways o’ the trails - and it warmed my heart to see Joshy atop a horse, happy as a lark, remembering stories of high school ridin' and ropin' days. He got to see people he hadn't in ages, and I liked watching him remember good times. Another thing about my man: he carries the weight of worlds upon his shoulders, but you would never know it. Born and bred to work work work it all away he is, and although I am thankful to the tips of treetops tohis mom and dad and family for raising him to be such a hard, dedicated worker, I was even happier to see him lay the pressure to rest for a weekend.
I was as equally so so grateful for the full-functioning facilities aboard the Fette Express horse camper (God bless you Heather for the soap! I love you!) and it was so marvie to just sit and be still in nature (it was so beautiful, albeit crunchy dry, but beautiful) and on the way home, Joshy says, “you know, Mary J. (good family friend and momma we look up to even though we are not her natural born chillens’) always rode a pack mule. Maybe that’s what we’ll get for you Stormy. A pack mule.” Awesome. Me, aboard a pack mule. Like sticking a circle block into a square hole.
Hee hee ...my boys will someday be ropin’ cowboys, and ole momma will be kickin it on a pack mule. Too funny. In the rush of packing up to leave on Saturday, I also left my camera behind. I sure wish I had a few pics to really show off my weekend: maybe a few shots of me sitting 9-feet in the sky on Charlie, the horse who does not like to stop on the trail for any reason, and should you try to make him, he will chomp down all greenery around you and stomp, and maybe even try to get a few bucks in for good measure. Joshy said he was just being a butt for some reason this weekend. (Rider trouble, I tell you.)
The best part of the weekend of horsery was Joshy having Monday to enjoy us time, and turning into mia momma handyman when we arrived back to this here casa on the farm. His honey-do list is really shaved down - just in time for me to mark officially on my Starr Strung calendar my holiday party plans! (: I wanted so much (and I told a bajillion of you kind customers) that I was planning a fall party here at my house…and then I thought better of it and booked a few more home parties and shows….rather hard to host a big open house if you have not enough jewels to sell. And then I considered late October, but I opened my big porthole of a momma-planning mouth and told the kiddos we would, indeed, decorate the basement spooky scary and host a dress up for Hallows Eve party (super fun!) And now, it’s mid-October and I am beginning to stare my creative eyes into the future of holiday hub bub. But the plans are coming together for me to actually host my own Starr Strung party, and I am uber excited. Details released into the wide open asap.
Until then, tis make make make time, as tomorrow is a busy day for me: I am hitting the open road to travel south to do boutique drop offs, and see my little sis for some sisterly time. Price tags need printed and fabric needs cut and adjusted to displays, coupons need to be packed and the list goes on and on.
I do want to share something here that I read during my morning devotional, surrounded by baby kitties and Mr. Finn dog, yesterday. It is from the book Breaking Free Day by Day by Beth Moore (I highly recommend this book if you are looking for a daily devotional read). I love this book because it does encourage me - with the dated, daily readings - to sit even for five minutes and absorb. So important to keep ourselves in check (or checked-in) with our higher power and allow guidance to be presented. Even when I don’t feel distraught or looking for answers, I always always receive something wonderful from these daily reads.
I hope you do too.
(from Oct. 11)
“Immediately Jesus spoke to them. 'Have courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.' ~ Matthew 14:27
:: When Jesus spoke these words to his disciples while walking on the water, the storm continued to rage. The point is not that we have nothing to fear, but that His presence is the basis for our courage. No, Christ does not always calm the storm immediately, but He is always willing to calm His child on the basis of His presence. “Don’t worry!” he says. “I know the winds are raging and the waves are high, but I am God over both. If I let them continue to swell, it’s because I want you to see Me walk on the water.” We’ll probably never learn to enjoy our storms, but we can learn to enjoy God’s presence in the midst of them.” ::
I suppose I have read excerpts and stories from the book of Matthew my entire life growing up in church services, but I have never understood this story in this way. I went to my Bible after I read the devotional, and found that the premise of the verse is found in the story of the disciples going out to fish while Jesus went to the mountainside by himself to pray. During the fourth night, Jesus walks out onto the water towards them and of course, they all flip the WHOA switch and think it’s a ghost coming towards them. He immediately speaks the verse above to them. Then he allows Peter to walk to Him on the water, and when Peter begins to doubt, and likewise, sink into the raging seas, Jesus responds with : “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”
In the footnotes of my Bible (where I always go and read to fully understand what’s going on with a verse) it says that Peter was really the only one in the boat to react, and ask to come towards Jesus - which possibly made his comrades, the other disciples, think what in the World?! - and so Peter became the sort of lesson-teacher in the story. He came towards Jesus with faith, but as the stormy seas swirled, he doubted. He “took his eyes off of Jesus and focused on the high waves around him. His faith wavered when he realized what he was doing.”
I am a person built to always take notice of life’s stormy seas raging about me. I get scared, I get emotional, I doubt. Oh, how I doubt. I am ashamed to admit sometimes how much I find myself focusing on the “omg, what ifs…” and by doing so, I give the situation power. Perhaps it is just the make-up of who I am, maybe it’s the weakest part of myself that the devil tries to poke at….and maybe I should take a lesson from Peter here and learn to better trust when tough situations arrive in my life.
My footnotes go on to say, “Peter started to sink because he took his eyes off Jesus and focused on the high waves around him (sound familiar?). His faith wavered when he realized what he was doing. We may not walk on water, but we do walk through tough situations. If we focus on the waves of difficult circumstances around us without looking to Jesus for help, we too may despair and sink. To maintain your faith when situations are difficult, keep your eyes on Jesus’ power rather than on your inadequacies.” I suppose this is the hardest thing to conquer in my own life - just trusting and always looking to my Maker, rather than inside myself, for help. I am not afraid at all to pray pray pray when things come up that make me nervous or scared, or situations where I have no idea what to do. But I will admit that I pray pray, and then I worry, worry. Not at all the way the Good Lord designed it. So, this day I plan on being more conscious of my thoughts on such things. I suppose I have lots I could worry about this week. Lots of what ifs….but I have prayed and now I will not worry.
I hope you can do the same!
Happy happy mid-week day to you and yours.