I am sitting on my back stoop, listening to two cardinals calling back and forth to each other, watching them flitter around my mammoth maple tree in my yard. I can hear Joshy off and on his phone, fixated on some miscellaneous hunting program, organizing his troops for their nightly duties this evening. I made him biscuits and gravy this a.m., but he doesn't know it yet. This gal ain't much of a gravy maker (in fact, I despise it - it's the wet bread factor. Who the hay wants wet on their dry I ask?) but the house smells like my Gramma D's, so it must be good.
I have been on third shift this week thus far...up too late into the wee hours of the morning, usually with squinted eyes and a tired backside from hovering over this mean little laptop machine, then catching zzzz's into the afternoon so that I can start again on the projects that litter my dining room table and now, coffee table and a small(ish) corner of my living room. The weather has changed here in the Hoosier state: Gail force winds on Monday (not complaining: I appreciated God's hand in drying my millions of loads of clothes (: to chilly willy temperatures in the night and dewy, near-dark mornings.
I have 14 voicemails, a pile of mail to sort and write my life away to (: and jewelry to make, and friends to see, and kiddos clothes to administer what I like to refer to as "the great exchange," from summer to the warm cozies of fall and winter. Cold weather, I see, is coming upon us. The wise words of the Farmers Almanac sayeth so, and the multiple willy worms are inching themselves across roadways, donning deep black furry coats (which we believe here, deep in the rural Midwest, means MAJOR COLD winter a'comith.) Which reminds me of being in high school, fresh behind the wheel of the most horridly embarrasing vehicle my dad could provide me: a rusted out white Chevy S-10 (with blue camper shell, seriously) and swerving to avoid the willies on the road, landing myself sideways in a ditch.
I haven't been here on this little blog o' mine of late - for some reason, it has felt good to find a bit of solace for myself in the quiet stretch of the days when JC is away to school and then with his father for the night, and into the evenings when there is noone here for me to cook for or tend to. I decided this week, rather than feel lonely, I would use the time to get my never-want-to-do list whittled down. So far? So so good.
I took my devotional time outside today - and after reading passages that spoke specifically to me at this exact point in my life, I had this epiphany: Why not pray expecting great things? Why not await the bountiful blessings yet to come? Why always ask ask ask ask for what I feel like I need, or want?
And so, I did.
Concentrations on good things, I believe, produce great things.
My prayer this day, and this week as I stretch out myself out to feel what lies ahead, outside of my typical comfort zones (in home, relationships, mothering, and Starr Strung business, and even creating!), I found myself wrapped in a peaceful, warm contentment.
I am, again, right where I am to be.
My future? My worries? My fears?
I think I will put these hypotheticals - that can serve as a wearing agent on our happiness and hope and joy - perfectly in the past.
"...do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7